The art of conversation

This morning we were getting ready for work, preparing breakfast and lunches. Dolores was slicing carrots for a soup she would throw in the crock pot. As she chopped she had the unwanted parts to dispose of and she had to scrape them into the sink with her left hand because the garbage disposal was on the right side sink. She wished that we would have put the disposal on the left side and I commenced to explain that you want the disposal in the smaller sink because you use the larger sink for hand washing and ---boom she stops me and says she understands and doesn't need a whole dissertation on the problem. I, of course being wounded, had to mention that her stories tend to drag on where she uses 10 minutes to describe a 1 minute situation. This leads to the eternal problem between men and women. In my observations of our species the female loves to talk and they can go on and on where the male sees a problem, analyzes it and solves it ba-dah-bing, ba-dah-boom. I guess if we left it up to the men there wouldn't be much conversation at all.

The Ugly Duckling

Lincoln School was my home for 7 years. I met many of my friends of the future during that period. Emil Lazar, Chuck Worthington, Bob Zender, Bruce Mau, Bronson Davis, Fred Denkman, Denny Crosby, Jim Boosales and many more. As you notice they were all of the male persuasion. I was so shy around the female species that I can't recall ever talking to one girl. Not that I didn't want to. It was an awkward age for me. I hadn't hit my growth spurt yet and I was missing a front tooth right in the middle of my chubby cheeked face. Thanks to heredity and Dr. McLean (Orthodontist) I turned that ugly duckling into what I am today. In talking to so many old classmates I found that I wasn't alone. Many had image problems and insecure feelings about themselves. With age comes the confidence that so eluded me in my youth. Lincoln School and I still stand after 66 years and now I can talk to Rosanne Schiff, Susan Seedorf, Lynda Doner and several of the other girls from our class with a relaxed feeling. Maybe this evolution of Keith was purposeful. It saved me for my lovely and wonderful wife (Dolores) and allowed us to raise two wonderful children who we have watched grow into fine adults. All of you have your stories which I can't wait to hear. A 2 day weekend reunion won't be long enough.

Nice Weekend

We took the train downtown for a nice weekend. September in Chicago, you can't beat it anywhere in the world. We arrived at Union Station and walked to the ShoreLine Water Taxi. Floated down the river to Michigan Ave. and walked to Dominicks to pick up some provisions. On to our loft and up to the roof deck to grill some sausage and burgers. The view was spectacular from north on Lake Shore Drive past Grand Ave. Beach, Navy Pier and on south toward the Planetarium. We went out to the show and saw Extract. A light comedy with Jason Bateman that was enjoyable. Saturday morning we went to Milleneum Park where Dolores participated in a group Yoga class outside while I walked on to the Aquarium. Next we stopped for breakfast at Rock n' Roll McDonalds. Then on to The Sliding Door company to look for room dividers for the loft. On our way back we went into Room and Board to buy some Jake chairs to go with our Bent Leg dining room table. Then on to the hardware store for some odds and ends. Back to the loft and then after charging our batteries we went to Grant Park for the Celtic Fest. Some nice music and dancing followed by a trip over to Buckingham Fountain to see the beautiful colored lights. On our way back we stopped at a nice Italian Restaurant for dessert. We were exhausted by then after walking over 15 miles and so we missed the fireworks. Back to Union Station on Sunday morning and home. Now I am waiting for the Bears game to come on and then back to work tomorrow.

The Soul-Heirs big night

When Emil and I were 24 he was teaching in Cabrini-Green and I was still chugging through college at North Park. To earn a little side money we started a Blues band which at the time seemed fine but looking back on it what Blues did we experience growing up in white, semi-affluent suburbia. Emil had been playing around with the Blues Harp (harmonica) and he talked me into buying a bass guitar and amp.We formed a group called "The Soul-Heirs." Through a few transitions of players we ended up with a black drummer, a drug addicted guitar player and then Emil and me. We auditioned at "The Cheetah", formerly and currently The Aragon, and somehow won the audition. The headliners were Wilson Pickett and also Arthur Connelly. There were over 5000 people in attendance and we got to open the whole program. This was quite a thrill that I'll never forget.

Dolores and Keith The Gypsy Wanderers

I wonder if this would work. We sell our house and stay with my classmates for the next 20 years or so. So far we stayed 1 night with Ron Hauser and 1 night with Pat Rice Foss. We have a few nights lined up with Bill Fisher in March. If there are around 900 living classmates, deduct about 6 couples who were both in my class, deduct everyone in the Chicago area ( who wants to stay here), deduct the mean and nasty ones who don't like anyone, deduct David Silverstein in Kenya (Dolores doesn't like coups), deduct the classmates who never did like me, deduct my old girlfriends (again Dolores) and finally deduct the 250 people we just can't find. That leaves maybe 3 to 6 people. Divided by 365 days we will have to stay with you at least 2 months and maybe 4 months a year. I hope the 3 to 6 of you know who you are and we do prefer tempurpedic mattresses. If you need references please contact Ron and Pat, ( well maybe not Ron I didn't mean to drink all your beer). I'll leave a list at the bottom of this entry. Please hurry we are booking up fast.

CHICAGO

Whatever you have heard about Chicago and it's colorful mayor is probably true but his tactics and the city council members make this beautiful city work. Sit down sometime with a group of people and try to agree on any issue. You know there will be several opinions and by the time the meeting is over nothing is done. I don't agree with the payoffs and kickbacks allegedly happening but without some lubricant to grease the wheel it grinds to a halt. You can be sure that the mayor has this city's interest squarely in his sites. I walk down the lakefront to Adler Planetarium or Shedd Aquarium every Saturday morning and enjoy every step entranced by the skyline views and sailboats floating in the harbors. For you that have moved away from this area plan on a return, in the summer or fall preferably, and see what I see.

Dear Diary-Hooray for us

I can't write nearly as often as Jack Spatafora. Too many distractions with work, travel and going to our new loft downtown on the beautiful Chicago summer days.
Recently I sent a general information e-mail to our 39 committee members, half of whom live away from the Chicago area. The response was overwhelming, informative, humorous and warm. The wealth of knowledge in just that small sample of our group really impressed me. We all have more to offer having gone through 66 years of life and this seemed to be the focus of the conversations. Not a run of the mill, cookie-cutter reunion but a more open weekend where reconnecting is the keyword. There will be traditional activities such as a meet and greet gathering on Friday, a nice dinner on Saturday and some sort of a Sunday brunch and farewell gathering. Between those events we will have tours, golfing and tennis tournaments, seminars revolving about our life experiences and much more. By 2011 I would imagine most of us will be retired and not confined by specific days of availability. This could lead to more visiting before and after our planned reunion. There will be updates as we plan our great event.

Dear Diary-How did they get there

We were in downtown Chicago today and every corner had at least one homeless, pathetic person begging for a few coins to feed themselves. So sad and I wondered how they got to that awful place in their life. They were young once, like us, and probably went to a decent school. Enjoyed rather normal homelifes but something went wrong. Some traumatic event sent their world to a dark place. It might have been the war or a divorce or alcoholism, who knows. My first reaction wold be "suck it up and get back on your feet" but that may not be an option for them. I wouldn't be surprised with a class our size that we have some members of that terrible group. The 600 people we have found are fine but the 300 we can't find may have gotten lost on their trip through life. I applaud groups like The Salvation Army and PADS for their work in trying to help them. There will probably never be an answer to this problem but in our relatively short timespan on this earth I am very grateful to have a nice family, good friends, wonderful classmates and a decent place to live.

Dear Diary

We were in the Ozarks at Bull Shoals, Arkansas last week visiting with Dolores' relatives. They have met there every Memorial Day for the past 30 years. Aunts, uncles, cousins and their children attended with the oldest being 90 and the youngest 4 months. I really blew my diet with some outstanding food. we played basketball, volleyball, horseshoes, badminton and a little fishing plus the boating on the lakes. Then at night we had a bonfire which we sat around. Very relaxing. On our way home we stopped at Ron and Mary Hauser's place and, along with Jim Copeland and his wife, reminisced about the old days at Nilehi. Ron is a very good artist and we bought a horse lithograph to match one that we bought last year. Jim and I went way back to grammar school and Boy Scouts. Now we're home and getting back into the groove. Hopefully by this time next week we will be closing on a small loft condo downtown that we will use on weekends. On June 10th we will fly to Denver and attend a wedding in Estes Park at the Stanley Hotel (The Shining). On our way to Estes Park we will visit with Pat (Rice) Foss. More later.

Dear Diary

I had breakfast this morning with Howie Moldofsky, Larry Fisher and Rod Bartels. While we were there at "Once Upon A Grill" in Northbrook I noticed other tables of people meeting with old friends and for that moment living back in a time we all remember so fondly. Since our table was all guys the topic of this girl and that girl came up, (don't tell our wives) and we covered issues of finance, politics, business and old friends. Amazing how much you can catch up on in such a short time. If I didn't have my honey-do list and the hockey game I could've stayed for another couple of hours. As we reflected on the past we discussed current issues briefly, mid-life issues briefly and families briefly but the focus seemed to always go back to high school. We are not alone. My friend, Emil Lazar, has always said "you can make new friends but they will never replace your old friends" and that is true. This reconnecting is a rather contagious thing. When I do my phone calling for the most part, even though they may not remember me, we talk freely like we have been friends for 50 years. Life challenges come up and how those challenges were met. I hear the joy in their voices as a new, old, name come up. Modern technology has made everything so accessible and that includes e-mailing an old friend and after that a phone conversation.As we are approaching the end of our lost classmate list I find more time to enjoy who we have found. I predict that we will have located everyone form our class by the end of the year and I hope we don't find any more in that purple box.
This has been a rather bland entry but give me a break, I didn't walk today and walking is my idea factory. My wife cringes every time I take off on a walk for fear of what new idea pops up.
My new ending is "The Best Is Yet To Come"

I HATED HIGH SCHOOL WITH EVERY BONE IN MY BODY

This was a recent comment I heard while doing one of my phone sessions trying to discover long lost classmates. I felt bad that such resentment still festered in a person 48 years after we graduated. This classmates's complaints seemed to center around the cliques which were prevalent then and still are today in schools. There were the beautiful people, the athletic people, the extremely intelligent people and the people with outgoing personalities. Some of our classmates were lucky enough to have more than one of these attributes and this was how the groups were formed. I, unfortunately, was not in any of those categories but I had my friends and we had fun. Everyone wants to be noticed and be included but that was not to be. I tried to convince this person to give it another chance since years have passed and our group of diverse personalities have melted down to a common ground where all we think about is how to enjoy our wonderful age of gold. I hope we are past that time that so divided us into castes and we can open up our arms to embrace everyone and enjoy with them the accomplishments, no matter how large or small, and just say "Hello Trojan".

I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM

Yesterday we went to a surprise 70th birthday party for a friend whom we've known for over 25 years. There were 30 people at the party and except for a few they were all old. I don't mean chronologically old but physically old. Bent over, balding, shaking, overweight. It doesn't have to be that way. Yes life takes its toll on us all but there are ways to slow things down. We have heard them all, diet, exercise, mind stimulation. Genetics enters into the picture but we can't blame all of our problems on mom and pop. Stress from work or tragedy add into it and the ease at which we can be so readily entertained without moving is also a factor. I haven't retired yet but I can see where that would lead to a sedentary lifestyle. The most exhilarating time of the day for me is while I am power walking to the health club and back. I might be tired after work but the walk refreshes me instantly. Irony would be me getting hit by a bus on my walk and he was on that bus riding to the casino.

$$$$$$ REVISITING CREDIT VS DEBIT $$$$$$$

A couple of weeks ago I proposed an idea to do away with currency and credit cards. I have been convinced by my friends that we will always need currency but if we ended the credit card usage and went to debit cards people would not be spending beyond their means. This move, though, would probably send us into another recession because buyers would stop buying if they had to pay directly from their checking accounts. It would be an adjustment but over time I'm sure we could make it work. This idea will get me off of the tip dependent workers hit list but onto the banks list. Why do we think that we deserve something that we cannot pay for. It has been an ideology started with the Diner's Club Card just because some fellow forgot his wallet at home and couldn't pay for his dinner.In 1949, Frank X McNamara went out to eat with two of his friends. At the end of the meal, McNamara reached into his pocket for his wallet so that he could pay for the meal (in cash). He was shocked to discover that he had forgotten his wallet. To his embarrassment, he then had to call his wife and have her bring him some money. McNamara came up with a new idea - a credit card that could be used at multiple locations. What was particularly novel about this concept was that there would be a middleman between companies and their customers. In 1950, McNamara started a new company - the Diners Club, which was going to be a middleman. The Diners Club was going to offer credit to individuals for many companies (then bill the customers and pay the companies). That one incident has blossomed into a multi-billion, nearly a trillion dollar industry. That is money that is, for the most part, fiat money (a promise to pay). You don't have it, they don't have it but you have their goods and services and they have your promise. Truth be told I have 2 credit cards and no debit cards. I think it is more of a bookkeeping issue with me. I will look into getting on the debit card wagon. Come and join me.

---------FROM GULLIBILITY TO SKEPTICISM-----------

I was brought up in a family where honesty was a virtue. When you were told something you could believe it. As I grew older it was difficult not to believe people at their word, oh how foolish. Even today I find it nearly impossible to lie but I listen with more jaded ears. If it comes to financial matters I believe nobody, not even my investment counsellor, especially my investment counsellor. Everyone has an angle and some new way to make theirs what is yours. There are people who have done quite well, financially, but at what price. Obviously their line between gullibility and skepticism was crossed at an early age. Was this taught or did it just happen. In my mind when the final bell tolls you have to quantify what benefit you have been to mankind. Has our short time on earth been helpful to our brothers and sisters of the world or has it been to accumulate material goods. There is a rather stupid show on TV called "Earl" that addresses the issue of a fellow who wants to make amends for all of his indiscretions in life. He was a taker and now wishes to be a giver. Let's open our hearts and minds and help others to improve their lives.

----------------MY 15 SECONDS-----------------

We have all had our 15 seconds of fame in varying degrees. Mine came in my senior year at good old NTHS. I was a benchwarmer on the basketball team, usually playing in the games that were blowouts whether we were up or down. Coach Fabri had his '40s style pick and roll offenses for us to blindly perform never allowing any room for individuality or inventiveness. Well we were playing the defending Suburban League Champs, Evanston, and our rock solid starting offense was sputtering. Evanston was not the team from the year before losing 2 of their big players. Coach looks down the bench and says "Andy, go and check in". I practically trip over my feet rushing to the scorers table worrying that the coach might change his mind and also wishing he would change his mind. We set up in our usual cookie cutter offense and one play has me setting up at the freethrow line and receiving the ball from a guard. Then both guards are supposed to run past me trying to lose their defenders on picks. If they aren't open for a pass I am supposed to pass the ball back out and we do another basic setup. Well I thought "this is my chance to break the mold" so I turned quickly and drove to the basket. I could dunk back then and that would've been a real crowd pleaser but I played it safe and laid it in. The move still was appreciated by our loyal Trojan rooters. Mind you this was the 2nd quarter of the game. I went on the score 3 more baskets and 2 freethrows for a total of 10 points in 1 quarter. We went on to win and Monday morning the sports reporter on our morning show heard in all of the rooms mentioned my name and I was so proud in front of all my homeroom classmates. After that game I got more playing time but that was my night.

$$$$$$$$ CURRENCY IDEAS $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Two things related to currency. In the Tribune Sunday there was an article about pennies and nickels costing more to make than they were worth. That is true but the coin conservatively lasts 10 years and probably is used at least 10 times a year, therefore the nine cent cost for a nickel would amortize to .0009 cents over it's life. The same would be true for pennies. Now I propose doing away with all currency and use debit cards for all transactions. Not credit cards because that encourages spending money you may not have. The younger generation seems to be doing this already. Our currency is no longer backed by gold and silver but by Fiat Money which is basically a promise by the government to support the currency. This leads to my 2nd point. If we don't back the currency with gold then why not sell some of that 147,399,000 troy ounces of gold held in fort Knox and use the proceeds to pay down our national debt. That works out to be almost $132 trillion. We could sell 1/10 of that and we're back in business. This would have to be done gradually or the price of gold would drop but I'm sure the bean counters in Washington could figure it out. These ideas have probably put me on several hit lists such as people who count on tips and people who own gold.

--------THE COMPETITION--------

I basically grew up in Skokie. My very early years were on North Christiana Ave. in Chicago but we moved to skokie when I was 7. My father was born in Sweden and moved to Chicago at the age of 12. He didn't know the language but even more important he didn't know American sports. I remember the first baseball mitt that he bought for me was for the wrong hand and I had to put it on backwards. This put me at quite a disadvantage trying to play little league baseball. Back in the '50's they didn't take everyone like they do now. I didn't make the cut but my good friend, Emil Lazar, did make it. I persevered over the next couple of years and finally learned enough to make a pony league team. Emil peaked at little league and stopped. I played freshman baseball at NTHS but, and this might sound like sour grapes, the coaches had their ideas as to who was a good athlete and who wasn't. After a bad experience with frosh football and baseball I was type cast. The summer between freshman year and soph year I went to California to stay with my aunt and uncle for 2 months. When I came home my parents were surprised to see that I grew 6 inches. I played basketball and had a modicum of success but nothing great. Moving on through marriage, children, coaching T-Ball through colt baseball (7 yr olds to 17 yr olds) I decided to play senior men's baseball. I was 55 yrs old and those 90 ft. bases were a long run. I enjoyed it so much that I invited Emil to come and play. Needless to say Emil and I have had an ongoing competition going over just about everything. He was really in bad shape but we played a whole summer. Well we are in the last game of the season and I'm hitting a couple of points better average than Emil. He gets a couple of hits and I get a hit and came to bat for the final time with everything on the line. I hit one up the middle (right over 2nd base) and their shortstop races over to get the ball. I am streaking down the line trying to leg out a hit. The shortstop gets to the ball but because it was a difficult play he juggled it. When he recovered he threw to first but missed getting the blue flash. The manager on our team was sitting next to Emil on the bench and I know there was some money being transferred when he called it an error and Emil won the batting competition (TILT).

////////////THE DAY I LOST IT?>?>?>?>

It was a nice day. The sun was shining, my son was getting married, all was well with the world. I just got back from the hair salon after getting my hair styled ( never before, never again) and the out of town guests were arriving. My cousin and her husband were staying with us. My brother-in-law was stopping at our house after work to change. We were late so I told him to leave through the garage and close the electric garage door with the button. The wedding went off beautifully, I found out later that a pair of butterflies were trying to nestle in my coiffed hair. After the dinner and dancing my cousin and her husband wanted to head back to our house so I gave them the garage opener. As we were saying goodbye to the last of the drunks my brother-in-law came to me and told me that he locked the entry door between the garage and house for security. Oh No, there isn't a key for that lock and I had meant to change the door knob. Aarghh that was the second time he had locked us out of our house. We jumped in the car and rushed home to let my cousins in. As we approached the house I realized that I had left the house keys inside so as not to bulge my pockets. Now I'm getting mad. I picked up an ax and proceeded to smash the doorknob to smithereens to the horror of my cousins. Just then, of course, my daughter showed up with the house keys and let everyone in the front door leaving me standing with an ax, broken knob and red face. That was 8 years ago and I just recently allowed my bro-in-law back in our house, under watchful eye.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoLOVExoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The other day my daughter and I were talking about her car. I didn't think she needed it since she takes the train to work and plans on moving to downtown Chicago where mass trans handles your travelling around. She said, "But I LOVE my car". I told her I never remember loving any car. Well in a fit of confrontation she stated that I don't love anything. I started to think about that and questioned just what is love. According to Wikipedia (disambiguation) or Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment.
My heritage is Swedish and I believe there is something to the theory that Nordics have a more distant approach to relationships. I, of course, have a strong affection for my wife and children.
Wikipedia goes on to say that the word Love is not a single feeling but an emotion built from two or more feelings. Anything vital to us creates more than one feeling, and we also have feelings about our feelings (and thoughts about our feelings).
I would rather use the word ENJOY when pertaining to inanimate objects.
Sometimes we hold back our feelings to avoid heartbreak if those feelings are crushed. Whether we LOVE or ENJOY is a far better option than hate.

++++++++COMPLIMENTS++++++++++

Recently the Chicago Tribune ran a front page article about 2 college boys at Purdue who would stand outside the Chemistry building every Wednesday for 2 hours giving out compliments to all passersby. I did say FRONT PAGE. We need more happy news like this rather than the usual tragedy of murders and political crime. We had recently cut our Trib subscription to 4 days a week just because their content was so depressing. There is a link to the boys: chicagotribune.com/compliments

The article also mentioned a man with a sign giving out free hugs on a busy street corner. Another about a bus driver leading holiday singing on his route. At first thought these acts may seem a little over the edge but maybe we need a little more of this. It's too bad we have to live in such a guarded world where we can't trust anybody or their actions. I guess the P.T.Barnum saying "There's a sucker born every minute and two to take him" has caused us to calcify a veneer around us. Well I believe kindness breeds kindness and I'll stick to that philosophy.